The Question

What did you wanna be Raymond K. Hessel?!.... The question Raymond was: what did you want to be!
                                                                                                                 -Tyler Durden, Fight Club-



Haven't blogged here for quite some time now. Life of a parasite is not easy. Depriving other people of their home or their money in the bank account is all time consuming. A lot of things factors in motion right now or has happened is influential in the formation of this question. Call it a the year-end existentialism crisis or whatever but the question remains: What do i really want to be. 

Was is Frank Zappa who said that if you ended up who did not want to be because of you listened to your parents, you family or your preacher even, then you deserved it. I think that is an apt quote for the situation at hand. Maybe, just maybe had i put my foot down years ago i would not be asking this question to myself now.

Should i just pull the plug to whatever am i doing now and just lived as i had before? a life of not material wealth but of emotional, intellectual fulfillment, lots of walking and some random acts of disobedience.






The question i should be asking myself over and over is: what did you want to be!

On Puasa, Forgiveness,Stupidity and Orwellian Future.

I'm sure most if not all of us were aware of the recent Bak Kut Teh-gate controversy where the two Chinese couple in a FB posting extolled the virtues of Bak Kut Teh as a fast breaking meal. I dunno. I prefer murtabak. Its cheap, filling and depending on where you buy it, can be tasty. The couple, famous for their sex video (and perhaps their penchance for cheap publicity)now with the FB posting had much of the Muslims (including me) pissed off to no end. I'm pretty sure some upon hearing the news went straight to sharpening their keris or parang or karok or whatever edged weapon of their choice.

For one, i can't eat Bak Kut Teh you morons! Even if i can, i still prefer sup ekor. Secondly, if the picture was Alvin's (i know the the girl Vivian is just the personifation of a dumb blonde. Sans the blonde hair) idea of a joke is sadly lacking the humour of any kind. I can name a few films by Proff Razak Mohideen with more humourous content. I mean what is the point of telling Muslims to eat Bak Kut Teh to break their fast? In case Alvin has been living under a rock from the day of his birth, Pork and its related products are a big no-no to Muslims, be it Sunni or Shiite. Big taboo, its a thing that should-not-be-named let alone consumed.

Bear in mind, with Ramadhan Bazaars or Pasar Ramadhan or PaRam (for those with acute disability to pronounce perfectly the words "Pasar Ramadhan") popping up like shrooms all over the place its safe to say that Bak Kut Teh or Chik Kut Teh would be the last thing a Muslim would ever look for during Ramadhan. I mean come on man,given the choice between a whole Ayam Tempayan, a big slab of Murtabak Daging and Bak Kut Teh, i would choose the two over Bak Kut Teh. No offense for Pork lovers and Bak Kut Teh fanatics but Pork-eating is not something Malay Muslims in Malaysia has even been exposed through the ages. I mean yeah, maybe you can find Babi Masak Kicap or Babi Golek sold openly in our haze contributing neighbour across the Strait but not here in Malaysia. The big three here has always been Chicken, Beef and Mutton/Lamb (at least for me). Heck the demand for chicken has always been too damn high that a minister even begged for the public ease up on the chickens and eat more fish and beef.  


That being said we come to the burning question; what is the real motive of Alvin putting up that picture on FB, knowing that eventually it would come to the knowledge of Muslims as a whole in Malaysia. My theories are as the following;

1) Publicity, publicity and more publicity.

In a world of instant artistes and youtube celebrities, publicity is good. Any kind of publicity is good.The couple has their own Youtube channel from the looks of it, dedicated to the discussion of the joys of human reproduction. This latest stunt, coming from a couple almost famous with Vivian posing nude with only a BN flag for a cover reeks of a great hunger for publicity. Both don't really have any talent or the right stuff to be famous for the right things, no cool job, no unique talent, no solution to end world hunger and judging from the comments, (disclaimer: i did not watch the said porn nor did i attempt to search for it) no acting talent as well, not even for their own homemade porn. What did that left them with? Do stupid shit and get it on the Net for all to see and enjoy their 15 minutes of fame, or more now that they have been denied bail.

Sure they hurt the feelings of Muslim, but hey, mission accomplished: they are famous now. Who knows, they might even get interviews 70 years from now they can show their grandchildren their scrapbook filled  with newspaper headlines covering their idiotic exploits (or sexploits) online; " This is when i told your grandma to take a dump in public and i uploaded the video on the Net, we got jailed for a week for that". Idiots.

2) They are US agents provocateur linked to DAP and secretly funded by NED.

Another theory of mine is that the couple are DAP lackeys paid by the NED to do all this stupid shit so that they would be arrested and when the current government's penchance for selective prosecution kicks in, it would turn them from idiots into martyrs in the eyes of the liberals and Opposition zealots. Then, cue the protests and marches by the liberals and Opposition and then cue the counter demonstrations and counter marches by the keris-waving angry Malay nationalists and Muslim fundamentalist.
Cue the civil disturbances, the martial law kicks in. In comes Obama with his freedom loving US Army citing the need to preserve peace and harmony in the ASEAN region, Singapore chips in, just to grab the prime real estate in Johor along with some water catchment area (they're tired of drinking their own recycled piss). Five years later, a new election supervised by the US Provisional Authority is won by DAP with overwhelming majority and guess who is the new Prime Minister? Alvin Tan. Fate can be an ass sometimes, right?

3) The couple are Chinese sleeper Agents.

Repeat the above situation, substitute the US with China, take NED out of the equation and leave out the part about the new election. After the five years of pacification campaign by the glorious People's Liberation Army, Malaysia, now known as Neo-..whatever is annexed as a new Chinese province (fuck Taiwan, who cares about a small island anyway). Chairman Mao would have been proud.

Motives aside, let us now consider the effect of their actions. Firstly, let us not dwell on the fact that it pissed Muslims all over the country (except for the Librals), that one goes without saying. Then we have the politicians who are always ready for some Keris-rattling, equating an insult to Islam is an insult to Malayness. Everyone is a champion of Malay-ness nowadays that i think PEKIDA is losing members fast to the likes of PERKASA.

Anyway, boring nation-state, political, race crap aside, what is the real impact to the tech-savy youngsters, to more exact; what is the effect of this debacle to the Internet users?

Two words, very bad

I have to end this part here. Will continue with part 2 soon. I am so sleepy that i think i have i drooled all over the keyboard.

Bright Side

Kadang kala bila aku frust dengan mat-mat rempit yang menunggang macam setan, pakcik-pakcik yang kopiah dan mempunyai bermacam sticker islamik di kereta tapi memandu macam retard ataupun pemandu Malaysia secara amnya  aku akan ingat kembali kata-kata Agent Smith dalam The Matrix;

 I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure. 

Hapdet

Demam. Pagi tadi Sang Isteri tunjuk tiket midnite show dia beli semalam. Lone Ranger 5/7/2013. 00.00 p.m. Aku tanya kenapa tak beritau aku malam semalam. " Dah tu you demam panas meracau-racau nak makan steak" Si Isteri balas. Semalam hari special, tapi aku demam panas, mintak steak.

Aku pasti semalam penuh dengan watdafak moment, with my wife at least. Not me. According to her i was busy proposing alternative career paths for myself, apart from asking for steak every now and then. 

What a way to spend the weekend.

Tom Joad

The song, the book. With the current climate of hate and fanaticism choking the country, the message of both book and song spoke in volumes to me, screaming, pleading, whispering, begging: 

Do something. 

Und so i will. 

post married life

Two months and ten days ago i uttered the big words and ended my bachelorhood. A lot has happened along the way leading to the big day that i canmot bear to write it all down here. All that matters is that now i have an angel beside me now. Ever patient with my quirks and characteristics. Understanding even if my actions are beyond sense or reason. Steadfast and loving beyond count.

Am i happy? Well, my inflated physical self bears testament to the state of my emotional flabbiness (read: really really, really happy).


Its not going to be easy journey this married life, i always tell her. But with her by my side nonothing is impossible.  Nothing.

I am glad to have married her, my angel. My love of my life.