Amat

Apa yang kau fikir bila kau nampak orang yang memegang tongkat foldable (yg orang buta selalu pakai tu) berlari2 mengejar bas u74 didepan stesen monorel KL Sentral?

a) Dia mempunyai masalah penglihatan yang teruk. Bukan buta, mungkin pandangannya sedikit kabur tapi cukup2 untuk nampak bas u74 depan mata.

b) Dia bukan buta mata tapi buta hati sebenarnya dok menyamar jadi orang buta mintak sedekah kat kedai2 makan sekitar Brickfields tuh. Part of the syndicate.

c) Dia ringan mulut dengan orang yang sekelilingnya, dia tanya sesapa yang disebelah bas u74 dah sampai ke belum dan mintak tolong kalau dah sampai tolong guide dia ke pintu bas kerana dia sememang nya cacat penglihatan.

d) Dia SB intake baru yang baru habis gather intel, malas nak play the part of a blind man. Cuma nak balik rumah dan tido sampai terlupa nak lipat tongkat.

e) Dia sebenarnya tolong pegangkan tongkat pakcik buta tah mana tapi lupa nak pulang balik.

f) Dia tak buta pun, saja je bawak tongkat foldable, sangat kool katanya.

Chambee

A woman, in white and black, pen in hand extended.

A smile, "Your signature monsieur, here, here and here."

Another file awaits.

Wishes

Kalau kau membesar dengan cerita dongeng dari seberang laut pasti kau biasa dengar mak atau bapak kau baca cerita dimana ada adegan yang protoganis nya akan memasang hajat apabila nampak tahi bintang jatuh ke bumi (selalunya di awal cerita) dan hajatnya akan termakbul.

Mengikut pemahaman aku tahi bintang itu takde memainkan apa2 peranan pun dalam memakbulkan hajat pun, cuma satu objek di mana hajat tadi itu di tumpukan sepenuhnya supaya ianya di embedkan secara subconciously ke dalam minda si pemasang hajat tadi agar bermula dari saat itu segala gerak langkah si pemohon tadi secara subconciously hanyalah untuk mencapai hajatnya. Dan kembali kepada cerita dongeng tadi, selalu nya lah, si pemohon itu akan dapat apa yang dihajati nya itu (kalau hajat dia tak kesampaian rosak pulak cerita). Tapi itu semua dalam cerita dongeng Eropah, namun begitu dengan situasi aku sekarang ini aku agak amused dengan notion sebegitu rupa. Akan tetapi rosak iman kalau pegi pasang hajat kat tahi bintang, Tuhan ada pegi mintak dengan taik bintang pulak. Bapak syirik.

Maka aku berdoa kepada Tuhan sambil mata kejap2 menjeling ke parking lot pool ini supaya dalam masa terdekat ini cargo bay door kapalterbang peranchis tahmana terbuka luas secara tidak sengaja lantas berterbangan keluar lah baguette panas menghujani parking lot pool depan bilik ini disamping tergoleknye lori bawak butter di bukit tonggek agar berhamburan stok butter untuk sebulan untuk aku kerana aku sangat lah lapaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr........

So help me God.

Mari Berpantun (Versi 3.0)

Gendang gendut tali kecapi

Tali kecapi brand Fender

Aku gendut banyak nye bunyi

Kau boroi ada kau consider? (buat mereka yang rasakan diri mereka slim)

Budak Rotu berlari-lari

Berlari-lari hai keliling padang

Aku bukan kaki lah maki

Tapi boleh jadi kalau dah bengang

Sorong papan tarik papan

tarik papan sorong papan

Apa kejadahnya sorong/tarik papan?

Kan lagi baik dibuat rumah?

Main bola dengan budak LLB

Bola di main dengan budak LLB

Hidup ni menjaga orang punya hati

Tapi hati kita sapa peduli?

Badak berendam dalam kolam

Berendam sambil minum ice lemon tea

Sibuk berpantun macam haram

Sampai lupa perut aku lapa gile babi

Kambing Boer di panggang atas api

Benda dipanggang memang la atas api

Ini semua boleh pegi lantak pi

Or ikut dialek aku ; pegi lah mati!!

Habis.

Juleps

Sam's love for the level three toilets at the library could never be put into words. Given the choice between the toilets at him new faculty (which consists of refurbished dorm rooms and its accompaniments) and the one at the library, he’d rather shit at the well lit and better smelling level three toilets at the library. The other, unspoken reason being that Sam finds shitting in a premise full of books to be perversely gratifying. For Sam, company meant books, lots of books which even extended into the toilet.

Unfortunately for him one day, a really bad case of diarrhea came upon him. Urge to relieve his aching midriff won over habit and so he went into the cubicle hurriedly and without his usual companion, the long time reader was forced to become a thinker for once. The pain was excruciating, God knows how long he spent time in there staring at the grey plastic door trying to appease his aching stomach. He shat and shat for so long that even he lost the track of time and when he finally came out of the cubicle it was a relief to be on his feet again.

From the moment he stepped out of his cubicle he felt that something was different, maybe it is the air (even with air-fresheners there would always be a certain tang to the air in a toilet) which now smells of smoke and the lights that flickered a few times. Alarmed, he tried to make his way out of the toilet for he had no wish of dying in toilet in a burning building but what he found beyond the door was not what he expected to see. What used to be the 3^rd floor of the library is gone. In fact save for the toilet he is in the whole library is gone, ground to chunks of rubbles. Whatever that he was used to was no longer there. The blue skies that he was used to burns red. Mushroom clouds and gouts of fire here and there in the distance. Eerie silence accompanied the spectacular flashes and fires, as if he is seeing all this on a HD telly on mute, no booms for the explosions, no distant crackles for the balls of flame. Only dead silence.

As if suddenly realizing that Sam is watching all that with his mouth open someone spoke,

-Seems that we missed one here.

Interrupted from their enjoyment of the vast scenery of death and destruction, two beings from their great height eyed him with penetrative gaze that was unearthly. One of them grinned.

Sam whose real name is Samad retraced his steps back into his former cubicle, he felt the need to empty his stomach again.

Godspeed

Esok, dua pembaca blog ini akan memulakan fasa baru dalam hidup mereka. You guys are at the final stage of your studies, the final leg before the real rat race begins. Godspeed to you both.

P/s: Mamak kat bawah tak sedap. Pegi pelita, lagi best.

Luntur

Off for a walk. Will be back.

One Small Step

for trollkind, a giant leap for giant entities.

Today my fellow trolls, history has been made where the impossible has been made. Today, we have broken the stereotype that trolls can never operate nothing more complex than doorknobs for today a trollkin has succesfully navigated the routes from Subang to Kampung Tunku and from Kampung Tunku back to Shah Alam using the four-wheeled horseless carriage the puny humans call cars. This seemingly small achievement to the eyes of the squishy humans will be the starting point for a glorious renaissance of the troll kultur.

Balls

"Children have a lesson adults should learn, to not be ashamed of failing, but to get up and try again. Most of us adults are so afraid, so cautious, so 'safe', and therefore so shrinking and rigid and afraid that it is why so many humans fail. Most middle-aged adults have resigned themselves to failure" -El Hajj Malik El-Shabazz, also known as Malcolm X-

Hijrah

Resolusi tahun baru:

To build a better and bigger cave.