Idylls

I was over at the Clinic for my medical check-up when curiosity overwhelmed my habitual silence and so i asked:

-Dokter, dokter dah berapa lama ada dekat sini?
-You think?
-Long time? As long as i can remember
-25 years
-Okay, that's a long time.
-Yep
-Funny you should ask. Sometimes when someone i know crosses the street, i can't recall his or her name but i can remember what ails him or her or what was the problem with his or her mother or father.
-Okay, you've been here wayy too long (which of course, i didn't say out loud).

I've been going to the Doctor since, forever. Hell, my whole family has been his patients since time immemorial. My family, my aunts and uncles to the Grandmaster. We've all been his patients. Twenty freakin five years. That is how long he's been around the place. In a way he has become a permanent fixture of the place and honest to God, i kinda like that idea. Open up a small practice somewhere, maybe here and stay there until you become a part of the landscape or like the Doctor, to have old age misplace the names of the people who had been my frequent clients but to still have remembered what i represented them for. Oh to dream that life would pass slowly in this day and age!

Tentang Orientasi, Kejujuran dan Kemaslahatan Umum

Just now, while FB-ing someone linked the video of the dude openly declaring himself a gay at Youtube. Now i wouldn't bat an eyelid (in fact i don't think anyone will) if its an American who's declaring his sexual orientation. The problem is its a Malay with a name that clearly denotes his Muslim faith.
The public reaction is as expected, outrage while at the fringes, the minorities hailed his bravery in furthering the cause of liberty and openness in the country. Now i am not in the state to write in full blown paragraphs, not tonight as so i shall frame my thoughts the best i could: in point form.


-The dude said that he's gay and he's okay with it. I'm not okay with it but that does not make me want to straight away want to stick a knife in his chest.

-It is wrong, the Good Book said so but that doesnt mean that i have to straightaway stick a knife in his chest or shun him.

- I've always believed that God has always wanted us to talk ourselves out of violence , to fix whatever that is wrong without having to resort to stick a knife into the person we disagree with. Islam after all is a religion of peace.

-We should talk it over with the dude or any persons with this LBGT mindset, try to see how the shoes are on the other foot before straight away calling for a genocide.


-It boils down to this; they are here, amongst us. The question now is what do we do about it?

- I really like this fella's take on the issue here. Instead of mobbing up with pitchforks and torches calling for blood why don't we sit down and think about it? What effect does the LBGT have on society as a whole and other questions we are dying to know the answers to. Be objective about it. While, you're at it, write an academic paper on it.

-Personally i do believe there's a strong reason why God Almighty placed the organs in this order: Brain, Heart, Peepee (for guys lah). It serves to show that you oughtta think with the head, not with the heart and never, with your peepee.

-Also, please don't try to justify it with the arguments such as " the animals do it too" It insults my coolness to be equated with penguins.

- I won't pretend that i know how they feel and what they are going through.I don't. Although I don't like them but that will not stop me from trying to understand them.

- I am straight, i do hope that all Men are but unfortunately there is a penumbra of uncertainty(damn i've always wanted to use that word!) there, whether God made it so or whether it is by choice is open for debate the question now is What do we do about it?

Tentang Orientasi, Kejujuran dan Kemaslahatan Umum

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Good Evening KL.

Baru lepas menonton lagi satu filem tentang Easter Rising, IRA dan Perang Saudara Ireland. Sedih. Pilu. Dari bergasak dengan Empayar British kemudian bergocoh sama sendiri atas perbezaan pendapat. God strike me down if i ever point a gun at my own brothers and sisters.

On another note,
Apa bising-bising pasal mau buat Nuclear Reactor ni? Sapa si mangkuk yang cadangkan? Kau ingat buat reactor tu macam buat reban ayam? Sapa kata tak cukup resource untuk Biomass power, just tap into the Parliament. They seem to produce lot of shite more than usual these days.

Oh, by the bye. The Faculty said yes. So yes, I'M IN!!!! I'M GOING TO HELL!!!!!!

Tatkala kepala maseh lagi rasa seolah2 lepas dibalun dengan hammer

Masih lagi dalam pusingan dedau, berpeluh, sehat sikit, dedau balik. Lidah masih takde perasaan.Otak masih blur(semua gara-gara overheating seharian semalam). Malas mau melayan kerenah badan aku mengonlinekan diri dan entah macam mana boleh terbaca dan terdownload Walden. Kerja si Henry Davi Thoreau. Baca punya baca line ini yang membuatkan mata aku terbelalak seketika;

Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with

our own private opinion.

What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate.

benda yang sama abah ada cakap dengan aku lantas menimbulkan persoalan; abah baca walden? Bile masanye? selama aku memunggah koleksi buku dia tak pernah pulak aku jumpa.

Old Stuff

Was trawling through the old unpublished things when i found this;


The Dream Machine
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

What if that all the dreams we ever had in our sleep are generated by a machine?  And what if this machine have existed for quite some time as a modification of Charles Babbage's calculation machine, powered by the brains of the long-dead writers and poets of old from all around the world such as Tolkien, Hemingway,  Conrad, Kafka,  Steinbeck, Poe, Shelly, Byron, Faulkner, Roald Dahl, or even our own Usman Awang? For a brain to be interred into the machine is the greatest honour a great mind can get., to lie in a state of immortality of sorts.

    A machine so big that it is of the size of a small continent, Jars and jars of brain floating in life-sustaining liquid all connected by wires and rubber tubes to each other and to the machine. The machine, of miles and miles of complex construction of steel tubes, innumerable cranks and cogs replete with dizzying array of valves and exhaust vents. Chugging and clanking, wheezing,all the while feeding all the people in the world, man woman and child their fair share of dreams or sometimes in some random algorithm combination, a nightmare.The army of half-dead brains still emitting sparks of imagination and giving us the most outlandish of dreams during our hours of  slumber,a Grimm-esque world of flying walruses and singing cats,of witches and imprisoned maidens, parliaments made entirely of cows and bulls, or maybe dream of food: a river of chocolate with banks of marzipan, soaring towers made of Cheddar bricks and fastened together with cream cheese mortar, or of loves found and lost , maybe dreams of epic proportion. In the world where the great minds run wild nothing is impossible.

    Giving us that drive to life the next day or perhaps reminding us of our innermost desires and wants, maybe etch a faint smile on our faces when we sit down and think of it at times of stress and sorrow, reminding us despite the all the crap we have to go through life ain't that bad after all. We still have our dreams to fall back to.

And what if this dream machine breaks down?



3.58 a.m, 6th August 2007

A New Year Wish

4 days late but better late than never, kan?

May your new year shone with all new improvements and new dreams to chase (or old dreams be given a new spit and polish). If you are a writer may you  write more often and come up with better and more outrageous stories (or movies, or books) this year. If you are a lawyer may stress be a whetstone to sharpen your mind instead of a constant source of hate and not forgetting, may your client list grow and your business too. Of course if you are a student, may this year be the year that pointer department gets a massive upward push and also that the lecturers for this coming semester be kindly and generous with marks (Amin). If you are working, may this new year be a more productive year for yourself and your company/ department/ body. As the Latin motto went, Labor Omnia Vincit. If you are a son or a daughter, may you be a better son/daughter this year to your parents, live through the naggings and grow up to be what you wanted to be. If you are a husband, may you be a better husband and may you listen more to your wife/wives and may you not forget your anniversary this year. For wives, may you spare your husband the naggings may you be a better wife and may you come up with a new out-of-this world recipe this year. If you are a Muslim, may  you be a better Muslim this year. If you are not a Muslim, may this year makes you a better and more understanding human being and finally, If you are a friend, may you be a better friend this year than you were the last year. May new friendships blossom and old and broken ones rekindled.


Yes, its that New Year.

Like Something Stuck Between Your Teeth

For some reason this song kept playing in my head.

Kenapa Masih Ada Yang Konfius Sedang Akal Tuhan Dah Kasi.

Kalau kau rasa sexual orientation kau itu best maka kau lagi hina dari penguin.
Shame on you man/woman!